I have met my new nemesis, and her name has currency in it;
Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy
Put my glasses on, I’m out the door - I’m gonna hit this city
It is pretty hard for me to hate a song within the first line. I mean, really? REALLY? She woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy? So she feels like a rich black man named Sean? I presume she is using P Diddy as a synonym for 'cool', or as the kidz like to say 'hip'.
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
Cause when I leave for the night, I ain’t coming back
I can imagine the writers scrutinizing this line;
"Wait, what rhymes with back that she can brush he teeth with?"
"Shut up, Luke. Obviously Jack, cause the kidz love to drink that."
"But isn't it physically impossible to brush your teeth with a large class bottle?"
"OH! And Hackysack was such a great idea?"
"But, I wrote I Kissed a Girl and Girlfriend."
"Your testicles are redundant."
I’m talking - pedicure on our toes, toes
Trying on all our clothes, clothes
Boys blowing up our phones, phones
Pedicure - check. Outfit - check. Random act of terrorism on our cellular telephone device- check.
Girls are always trying to blow up my phone, sometimes they even try to blow up my plane with their shoes! (boots with the fur are optional)
Drop-toping, playing our favorite C.Ds
Pulling up to the parties
Trying to get a little bit tipsy
I bet they don't get a little bit tipsy. You only get a little bit tipsy when you are 13 and you are drinking your Dad's secret vodka stash out of a Coke bottle. I am either sober or completely wrecked, 'a little tipsy' is hard to do. My life is a shallow mess. Touche, Ke$ha Descartes.
Don’t stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, I’mma fight
‘Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock, on the clock
But the party don’t stop no
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh
I think Huey Lewis had it right.
Ain’t got a care in world, but got plenty of beer
Ain’t got no money in my pocket, but I’m already here
Now, the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger
But we kick ‘em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger
Is Ke$ha aware that Mick Jagger looks like this?
Or do girls like this? Should the 'sucking air in to aide my exceedingly sweaty pits' be my new Running Man?!
I’m talking about - everybody getting crunk, crunk
Boys trying to touch my junk, junk
Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk
Now, now - we goin’ til they kick us out, out
Or the police shut us down, down
Police shut us down, down
Po-po shut us
Please, Po-po, shut them down. I imagine that party is a collision of chlamydia and sexism. Oh, but don't forget that Ke$ha is cool because she wears 'Garbage Chic' and has a dollar sign in her name. Jokes on you, Ke$ha, the Malaysian Ringgit has been lower than the American Dollar for three consecutive weeks. So there.