So, 2009. What a fun year! With lots of things happening it's hard to focus on something which will define the year, but to me it will be pirates. Pirates in the sense of swashbuckling and pirates in the sense of downloading Lily Allen without paying (who would pay for that).
I like to think romantically about the notion of pirates still terrorising our seas in these modern, economy obsessed days. But I also like to think the sequel of Cool Runnings will involve the gang starting the first Jamaican-Somalian Pirate ship, it would possibly be the best film ever and it would win all the Oscars, because Daniel Day Lewis would take the part played by John Candy.
However, in actual fact, the pirates are oil tanker sailing desperately poor Somalians and really only kidnap middle-class English people who like to go yachting while on holiday - so the very worst type of person;
Man 1; How did you and your wife's holiday go?
Man 2; Well, we only went and got bloody captured by some of those pirate people!
Man 1; OH HOW QUAINT!
Man 2; I know, they tied me up and gave Judith a right good seeing to!
Man 1; Pummeled eh? But it didn't stop your tan!
Man 2; Ya, ya. It was a perfect place to sun. Judith was locked up most of the time, but I bought her some new polo gear and she will be right as rain soon.
Man 1; Not half!
And the pirates look like this:
Oops, I mean, this;
Rather than the type that Johnny Depp plays. Or Blackbeard. Or the one who looks like an octopus.
The issue of music piracy has also been prominent this year due to the prosecution of the owners of the file-sharing website 'The Pirate Bay' (also not real pirates). To be honest I've grown tired of this whole debate and when Lily Allen and Matt Bellamy chimed in, I just thought, 'I really don't care, Lily Allen is an annoying hypocrite chav-wannabe and Bellamy is in Muse and believes in aliens'. So what I'm trying to say is;
THANK YOU SOMALIAN PIRATE PEOPLE, YOU MAY NOT BE COOL LIKE JACK SPARROW BUT YOU ARE MUCH MORE INTERESTING THAN THE FILE SHARING DEBATE. I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR APPEARANCE IN COOL RUNNINGS 2.
With that out of the way, some topical music, the first being one of my favourite songs of 2009, with, this post basically being written as an excuse to post it. The other being by Lambchop, one of my favourite bands ever.
Chris Garneau - No More Pirates
Lambchop - National Talk Like A Pirate Day